Off The Log
from Number Two by Evil Brain Taste
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Track twelve from the album 'Number Two'. Veering unpredictably between serious social commentary, puerile toilet humour and B-movie worship, from breakneck thrash to pummelling death metal.
lyrics
Caught short
Hearing nature's call, something starts to stew
Release
Must suppress the urge, or I might follow through
Clenching tight to buy some time
Look around with guilty eyes
Ventilation imminent I pick my moment to depressurise
Can't keep this inside
No sense delaying inevitable
Bodily process cannot be stalled
I have no option but to give vent
Sickening odor that I ferment
Look nonchalant, try to shrug it off
But everyone knows you're the one who boffed
Now the best option is to come clean
Women and children should leave the scene
Something is lurking
Deep within my guts
Take a whiff and brace yourself cos this one's off the log
Giving off a gas
Which is rather ripe
Told you twice to brace yourself cos this one's off the log
It may appear, that my minds occupied
I do not mean to be rude
under stress as I deal with the consequences of eating food
Sweat and grimace face turns red
Bunny grumbles full of dread
Do I risk it may be wet I hope this is something I won’t regret
Where is the nearest loo?
To free a brown hostage is the objective finding the toilet may take a detective
I cross my legs there is no blue line whoever said the rhyme did the crime
Yank up my trousers, I’ll fill my socks
At this rate I’ll go in the cat litter box
Looks like the queue ain’t going anywhere
And sometimes life it just isn’t fair
Keep the blast doors shut
Leaking from my butt
Take a sniff and brace yourself cos this one's off the log
Can’t hold it anymore
Won’t close the toilet door
Told you thrice to brace yourself cos this one's off the log
Off the log!
Off the log!
Hearing nature's call, something starts to stew
Release
Must suppress the urge, or I might follow through
Clenching tight to buy some time
Look around with guilty eyes
Ventilation imminent I pick my moment to depressurise
Can't keep this inside
No sense delaying inevitable
Bodily process cannot be stalled
I have no option but to give vent
Sickening odor that I ferment
Look nonchalant, try to shrug it off
But everyone knows you're the one who boffed
Now the best option is to come clean
Women and children should leave the scene
Something is lurking
Deep within my guts
Take a whiff and brace yourself cos this one's off the log
Giving off a gas
Which is rather ripe
Told you twice to brace yourself cos this one's off the log
It may appear, that my minds occupied
I do not mean to be rude
under stress as I deal with the consequences of eating food
Sweat and grimace face turns red
Bunny grumbles full of dread
Do I risk it may be wet I hope this is something I won’t regret
Where is the nearest loo?
To free a brown hostage is the objective finding the toilet may take a detective
I cross my legs there is no blue line whoever said the rhyme did the crime
Yank up my trousers, I’ll fill my socks
At this rate I’ll go in the cat litter box
Looks like the queue ain’t going anywhere
And sometimes life it just isn’t fair
Keep the blast doors shut
Leaking from my butt
Take a sniff and brace yourself cos this one's off the log
Can’t hold it anymore
Won’t close the toilet door
Told you thrice to brace yourself cos this one's off the log
Off the log!
Off the log!
credits
from Number Two,
released May 22, 2023
all music by EBT
all music by EBT
license
all rights reserved
tags
about
Evil Brain Taste Reading, UK
Veering between serious social commentary, puerile toilet humour and B-movie worship, from breakneck thrash to pummelling death metal, shot through with black humour and anarchic enthusiasm.
discography
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May 2023 -
Apr 2021 -
Jun 2020 -
Jan 2020 -
May 2019 -
Apr 2015 -
Jan 2014
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